This has
been an eventful few days. A fun story
to share: Saturday night at my family, Gramps and Nanny joined us for dinner
and afterwards played Mexican Train, an entertaining and strategic domino game. The best part was, in previous times playing
games, Cassie has needed some assistance remembering the game and playing it
properly. This time around, she needed
little reminders and, as it turned out, won the first two go-arounds! She was laughing and quite pleased with
herself – a reward so worthwhile as she has dealt with so much.
We have worked ourselves back to church, having returned April 14, the week following General Conference. We started out with just sacrament meeting, and this past Sunday we went to the first two hours of church (skipping the 3rd
hour) as we continue to work up to full activity on Sundays. It’s a treat to be among the Saints, to feel
of the Spirit of God helping buoy us up in our time of need. When the prayers are said, and heaven’s help
requested for those that stand in need, I take note of that. Before, I never felt that those pleas applied
to Cassie and me. Now, it certainly
does.
Yesterday,
on the 6th, there were many errands and tasks to be completed. First we had therapy, which Cassie continues
to excel at. We have increased her
baclofen dosage to 60mg per day and that seems to be loosening up the tone in
her hand that is causing the ligaments and muscles to work in such a manner
that she clenches her hand (not quite a full fist, but certainly not
relaxed). Her step is also improving –
it is less compensated by her torso but more moving the leg forward and
utilizing her knee. She takes the steps
going down at a normal pace, one foot per step.
She still feels uncomfortable when there is not handrail for her to feel
secure. Her physical therapist Shane
helped her take the stairs going up in the same fashion, and it took some time
but she is making strides in that area.
She is able to balance more and more, and put more weight on the right
side. She still cannot move her foot or
wiggle her toes (it’s all involuntary movement). She can lift her right arm and hand to
position it by her mouth, such as if she were to eat.
As far
as the errands, we went to Shopko to buy some sheets, to Deseret Book for some
Mother’s Day shopping, the bank to deposit some cash, and finally the Bishop’s
Storehouse to get some much needed food and supplies. I was not quite sure what to expect,
imagining some kind of Costco setup. I
was taken aback at the quaint little convenience store vibe there. The service missionaries were quite helpful
and garnered all the supplies requested for us by our Relief Society president
days prior. I was humbled and I felt
the love of God and the fellow members of the church who contribute to the fast
offering funds. I obviously can say that
I did not anticipate ever using the funds, only to contribute. But here we were, in the storehouse,
receiving the aid of the church. I took
me aback and I truly felt humbled, and know that my life is more in His hands, more than what I may be comfortable admitting.
I am used to independence and living within my means, but now the “means” just are not there anymore.
Humility requires a submissive heart and willingness to be served.
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5:38 PM
So the
results of the tests are in: the MRI results are normal, and the electroencephalogram (EEG or brain-wave) show normal brain activity. This is all good news as any visit to the
emergency room beginning in the dead of night rarely ends well. After a few
hours she is back at home, extremely drained from all the hustle and bustle of
the day on only a few hours’ sleep. I do not know what else to write about – my
feelings are strained and I wonder sometimes if we are going to make it out of
this mess. Clearly, it has a far greater impact on Cassie’s life than it does
mine. I see my companion and how she is not
herself. I see her make huge strides and have much progress, to only hit another wall. I know I need to be faithful and learn what the Lord has in store for my
wife and I. It is difficult to do so. I think of Job in the New Testament, and
the horrible things that happened to him: slain family, human frailty and
illnesses, and the derision of his friends. As I think of that, my mind is
immediately taken to the opening verses of Doctrine and Covenants 121. Here is
the story of Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail, hallowed scripture where multiple
insights are given through the dialogue between the Prophet Joseph and the Almighty. Here is the text of that scripture:
About
10:30 PM I called Amy and had her come over, just to have another set of eyes
there in case an urgent decision has to be made. Cassie is slathered with
hydrocortisone and lotion in an attempt to alleviate the irritation. She slept
for another two hours and then woke up again with the same symptoms. I make an
early morning trip to Walmart to purchase more hydrocortisone. She then slept
for an additional hour and then woke up needing to go to the bathroom. As Amy
and I help her, she took two steps and then swayed side-to-side. Her head
lolled to one side and her eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed. We
lay her down on the bed before we can slide her to the ground. 
