Cassie and Chris 2016

Cassie and Chris 2016

Our Story

It all started in a seminary class in high school, with a "mop-headed boy" and a dancer/singer who sat behind him. As only friends in high school, and then reuniting after Christopher's mission, we were married in the LDS temple in Manti, Utah, and have now been married for over 7 years.

On January 16, 2013, Cassie was diagnosed with a stroke. As a result, many of our dreams and goals were delayed. But we were not to be deterred. Chris graduated in 2014 and currently works at Imagine Learning, and Cassie graduated in 2016 and now volunteers at the hospital while maintaining the apartment.

As we now commence on our journey to adopt, please spread the word! Comments are welcome as expressions of love and support. Most important is the faith and prayers offered in our behalf. So we invite you to share in our journey, as we look back in time to the beginning of the emergency and then update you to the joys and trials we face together. This is our story.

Perspectives from Immediate Family

This page will contain the perspectives and impressions from the immediate family:

Amy Lilly (mother) shares some history of Cassie's many health struggles, key character traits and life events leading up to the stroke and the first day of the emergency.

I am Cassandra’s mother. She has always been a very independent, capable and motivated young lady. She was diagnosed with lupus as a teenager, yet she never complained, pouted or said “why me”. Since that time she has done everything possible to be healthy and live a full life. Right around New Year’s Day, Cassandra and Chris told us they were expecting, after methodically talking to all the doctors to make sure it would be safe and what she would needed to do to be able to carry a baby to full term. I was excited as well as nervous, because of all of the unknowns of lupus.  But she has done her homework and Chris has always been very supportive of her health issues. We were very excited that they will both graduate in April with their bachelor’s degrees in business. They have both worked so hard to do this together and without any student loans!  

January 16th started out like a normal day. I had a work meeting in the morning. Ethan was wrestling in a district tournament. I started calling Troy after I got out of my meeting to meet up with them and he wasn’t answering. I left him increasingly annoyed voicemails to call me. Then Chris called saying that he was taking Cassandra to the emergency room. She was either having a weird migraine or she has had the beginnings of a stroke! She was 23, so my brain automatically assumes the former. I had warned my bosses I wouldn’t be at work long because of the wrestling tournament, so I just say goodbye and left – too many unknowns to explain.  I try to call Troy again, still getting voicemail.  It was now much more important and urgent that I reach him, so I call where the tournament was. I told the secretary that my daughter was on her way to the emergency room and I needed to get ahold of my husband. She immediately went to track him down and have him call me. Just a few minutes later he finally calls. We have a very brief and emotional conversation about what was going on. I leave, praying as I go, assuming the best as the worst was too scary! I am there very quickly, I walk in and Cassandra was sitting in a chair talking to the triage nurse. She looks alert, smiles and then tears start to come. I rush to hug her and reassure her.  She was having a bit of a hard time talking (worrisome), but she was still understandable. For instance, she told the nurse she was “pregnative”.  Once she was in a room, I call Troy again; he and Ethan had decided that Ethan would withdraw from the tournament as he no longer wanted to wrestle that day. His buddies had all rallied around him, giving him much needed care and support (awesome for such young teenagers)! They are on their way to the hospital. Ariana was in class; I send her a text telling her to call me when she gets out (still don’t know how serious it was and I don’t wanted to cause her undue panic).  Chris’ mom, Cathy, arrived. They took Cassandra back for an MRI, Chris went with her and so we wait.

When Chris and Cassandra returned the family had gathered and we received the news that yes, Cassandra has had a stroke, that there was a blood clot there. They wanted to go in and perform a cerebral angiogram to try to break up the clot with medicine injected directly into the clot.  This was all communicated to us by a neurologist and her assistant. They would be in the procedure with her as she was sedated, but awake. We asked for time and privacy to pray; a blessing was definitely needed. It was time to wait again, and since there were so many of us they gave us our own room to wait.  It felt like an eternity as we waited and waited and waited.  They came in and told us that the initial procedure seemed to work but the clot had reformed and they could not administer anymore medicine safely.  Now with our permission (well, actually Chris’) they would like to try to “grab” the clot and pull it back out, a little more invasive, but they are already in, so not much more.  The “go ahead” was given and the neurologist went back in. The cerebral angiogram doctor came out finally the procedure was over; he was able to grab what he thinks was most of the clot, when he went back in to finish it the vein contracted and he wasn’t able to get anymore.  They had done everything they could for her from this side of things.  As a precaution the patient routinely spends 24-48 hours in ICU for observation. This sounds kind of scary but reasonable. They wheeled her out and we follow her along. We had to wait in the ICU waiting room while they got her situated and settled.  This was hard for me since we just got to see her to have to leave her again so soon. The sign over the corridor read “Neuro Traumatic Shock Intensive Care Unit”; it sounds just as scary as it feels. We were all very tired at this point, Ethan even fell asleep in the chair and slides out. We laughed at him because he slept the whole time.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. We discovered that in ICU they won’t let you stay in the room at night, so if anyone stays they have to stay in the waiting room. I wanted to stay, but Troy said he thinks I should go home and rest in my own bed. I felt weak when I acknowledged the wisdom in this council. Chris decides to stay the night and had some friends/neighbors bring him the things he needed.  The high risk OBGYN office sent one of their partners to do an ultrasound. Cathy and I got to hear the sweet sound of our first grandbaby’s heart beat! Finally something positive and wonderful in this very scary day! Sometime after 10 PM we asked Ariana to take Ethan home, as he had been battling a cold, on top of all of the wrestling he had been doing and now the stress of having his sister in peril. I didn’t know how to leave.  They took her down for another MRI, and I promise Troy I will make myself go home with him when she and Chris come back from that. We are already receiving service from people, vehicles are retrieved, Kathleen Koyle raced to the hospital to provide comfort, supportm hugs and a shoulder to cry on, Ryan and Marizta bring Chris much needed overnight supplies and some food. Chris and Cassandra returned from the MRI; I think we waited for a bit for the “results” but I honestly couldn’t tell you what they said. Cassandra was so tired, but very thirsty and hungry. They wouldn’t let her eat or drink anything because of the procedure that was done. This was very distressing to her, especially the thirst. She is a big water drinker! It was so hard to leave! I don’t know how, I just wanted to lie down next to her and hold her. But I am dead on my feet and Troy very gently but firmly allowed me to hug and kiss her and then guided me out. 

Cathy Holt (mother-in-law) shares the following thoughts, as she reflects on first hearing about the stroke leading up to the present time.

I will never forget the phone call on January 16th….I was at work waiting to serve lunch.  After talking to Christopher I felt like I was having an out of body experience.  My mind went on auto pilot.  I called my boss and told her what was happening and I needed someone to cover for me.  While waiting for someone to come I cancelled the doctor appointment and visiting teaching appointment I had that afternoon.  I headed home, let the dog out, changed and was to the ER in less than an hour.  I headed back to the room where Cassie, Christopher, and Amy were.  We were all scared to death.  I could see the worry and concern in Cassie and Christopher’s faces.  We were all so worried about Cassie and the baby.  We didn’t want anything to happen to either of them.  Cassie’s dad, sister and brother soon arrived.  The stroke team were in and out doing their assessments and deciding what tests needed to be done. They took her to the first of many MRIs.  An hour or so later they let us know that she had indeed had a stroke.  After hours of waiting, tests, tears and many prayers, Cassie was taken to the Neuro Shock Trauma ICU.  It is so hard to see someone you love laying there and there is nothing you can to do.  Christopher wanted to spend the night with Cassie so the rest of us headed home after midnight. Needless to say it was a very short night.  Christopher texted me about 5am in a panic.  He was afraid he was losing Cassie.  I let him know I was on my way…I got dressed and left.  I remember pleading with the Lord not to take her from us the whole drive to the hospital.  I remember being in her room on Thursday I think it was….she was holding her father’s hand when she got this worried look on her face.  She grabbed a hold of her right hand and started shaking it.  We called for the nurse to see what was going on, but I think we already knew.  We all felt so helpless as we watched the paralysis take over her right side and for her loss of speech.  We watched her fall deeper and deeper asleep as her body struggled to heal.  I remember how upset we were when her hair started to fall out.  Just one more thing for her to go through.  Then the heartbreak of them losing their unborn child.  It was really too much.  If I could I would have taken it all away.  I wonder everyday what it is that we all needed to learn from this.  I’m so grateful for every small and large step Cassie has taken.  For every new sound and word she has spoken.  For every triumph she has on her road to recovery.  We are so grateful for every prayer and words of hope for her and Christopher.  For our families and friends that have done so much for us.

Curtis Holt (brother-in-law) is currently serving his mission in Dallas, Texas for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He had been out for at least 5 months when this devastating news came to him.

"President called me that Friday.  Calls from President or never ever ever ever ever ever good ... at least that I have heard. It is either you are in deep crap or something drastic happened at home. He told me the news and I just started crying. I sat in the car crying for a good half hour after the phone call and sunk even deeper. I just decided I had to fake smile until I really could smile. Fake smiling has worked and now I am so happy and I know that the only reason is because I am serving our Lord and Savior. If it weren't for the Book of Mormon and my testimony of the Atonement, I would be home now wasting the opportunity to shape my life."

Ariana Lilly (sister) shares her heartfelt feelings towards her sister and the faith and hope in God and His Son, Jesus Christ, that things will work out for the better.

Cassandra is my best friend and only sister. Cassandra and Chris will have been married in November for four years, and I have never seen a happier and more complete couple. Ever since we were little girls we have imagined growing up and becoming mothers, dreaming about how our kids would look and the personalities they would have. Cassandra was diagnosed with Lupus when she was fourteen. We have known for a while that having children would be a significant challenge because women with Lupus and childbirth amount to complications and significant risk. Since I can remember, Cassandra has wanted to have a family of her own and has had to wait for many years for things to align properly. In December 2012 they shared that they were going to have a beautiful baby. We were all ecstatic but we also had many concerns. We were comforted somewhat because Cassandra was seeing the best Lupus specialists in the country. All seemed to be going well and it had been several weeks since she had made the announcement.  We never expected what would happen next.

On January 16th I received a phone call at school from my mom telling me that Cassandra was in the ER. The doctors had said that it might just be a migraine, but they wanted to do some tests and make sure everything was okay with her and the baby. I arrived, to see her joking, laughing and putting on the brave face like she always does when something with her health goes wrong.

After we found out that it was not a migraine but rather a stroke, they decided to do a procedure where they go up though the blood vessels and try to dissolve the blood clot. This process didn’t work. The doctor than told us that she thought they should try and remove it. We had two options: (1) either to leave the blood clot; or (2) to try and remove it; both could result in internal bleeding that could cause brain damage or death. At this moment my worst nightmare became a reality: my best friend slowly being ripped away from me. I was left there, in a hospital room, watching my life become empty and numb.  I remember saying a family prayer as Cassandra had the removal procedure. Chris was the only one that could actually say words without crying hysterically. I remember him saying that whatever God needed with Cassandra we would understand and if she left us that night we would understand. I, on the other hand, had a very different prayer in mind. I knew that if she left us today I would be anything but understanding. I felt like I was drowning and that I would never be able to breathe again.  

She came out of surgery and went to the ICU; they told us everything went okay but they were not able to get all of the clots. When we were able to see Cassandra she seemed really tired but still that sweet person we know.

The next day she was able to laugh, walk around and joke with the doctors, and my breathing began to return.  They took her for another procedure and things turned for the worst. When she came back she was no longer herself. She was slowly losing the movement in the right side of her body and the only word she could say was “ya.” She only seemed aware enough to see who was in the room and then offer them her hand as a sign of reassurance that she was brave and strong. I remember as she took my hand tears began to stream down my face and I was terrified. Cassandra, however, just gave me a look that said “don’t cry – everything will be alright.” For a few very long and painful days we sat by her bed watching the monitor and taking turns holding her hand.  She had lost the connection to move the right side of her body, and the connection to her speech center was damaged.  We had small moments of improvement when she could stay awake for longer than twenty minutes, when she pushed her leg down with little to no assistance from the physical therapists, or when she learned to say “no”. Through this process that seemed like years the doctors where still unsure how to treat Cassandra. They called different types of doctors from all over the world for direction. This was an especially hard time for us and Cassandra because we just wanted to be on the road to recovery. 

January 30 was my birthday. This day I remember that Cassandra started to slowly recover. I remember going to the hospital and they had let her eat real food. I have never seen a happier person. She had pudding all over her and a large grin on her face. She was scheduled to have an ultra sound to check on the baby and make sure everything was alright. I had to go to school but when I came back I heard that the baby had died. I was heartbroken.
I believe that having children is a sacrifice for women, but this day I felt like the sacrifice was far too great; I was angry and upset that she had to loss one more thing. I didn’t and still don’t understand why she had to sacrifice so much, but I trust in God that He has a plan and that baby is looking over us.

Two days later we were able to leave the ICU and go to the third floor. This was such a relief! In the ICU, they took Cassandra’s blood pressure every 15 minutes and checked on her about every half hour – not to mention people in the ICU pass away more regularly because of the severity of their injuries. On the third floor they took her blood pressure maybe every four hours, and I didn’t see anyone pass away.  The room felt more like home and the feeling that we could loss Cassandra at any moment steadily decreased.

Cassandra has made astounding improvements. She went from having to stay in bed with a feeding tube and sucking on foam swabs, to drinking water and walking with three physical therapist, to walking on her own and drinking down twelve pills at the same time.  Doctors and nurses call her an inspiration but I don’t believe Cassandra will ever think of herself that way. I believe she is an inspiration to people all over the world. She still has significant improvements to make but I know with all of my heart she will make great improvements and will forever be an inspiration to many people around her, especially to me. 

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