As It Get Worse, Turn to God – January 24, 2013

Flowers that Ariana & Ethan
purchased for Cassie

In between today and the 17th, Cassie suffered additional strokes and, as a result, she was paralyzed on her right side. She has lost her ability to speak, to move her right leg and foot and to lift or use her right arm and hand. This has caused a great deal of heartache and frustration as it becomes increasingly more difficult to communicate with her and for her to be able to adequately express herself. As things progress, she has begun to utilize hand motions with her left arm and hand, whether that is to have what we called "swabbies" (tiny sponges on a stick that we soak in water), to turn on and off the light, to come sit by her, etc. Even with this increased communication patterns, she often sleeps. She likes to entertain some visitors, and some close friends we have let into the ICU room, but most stay and visit us in the waiting room. Much thanks to those who visited: to comfort, to bring food, and to just be there to share in our time of need.

Unfortunately, flowers are not
allowed in the ICU rooms

As I have turned to the scriptures and to prayer (albeit not as often as I probably should), I have appreciated the feelings of the Holy Ghost and the reassurance from heaven. I have tried very hard to make sure that I have not questioned the Lord as to why this trial has happened and why to a precious daughter of God at such a young age. I have sought to learn why this is happening and what is to be gained from the experience.  I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have a plan established, the wonderful plan of salvation that allows families to be together forever. It helps to be able to look beyond this mortal life into the eternities. I wish I knew what purpose this serves; at the very least I know "that the works of God should be made manifest" (John 9:3) in the story of my wife.

Contributed by Christopher Holt

Cassandra is doing better. Trying to talk more. Frustrated that we don't understand more of what she is saying.  She rolls her eyes when she gets tired of trying to make us "get it".  Funny! She is much more alert and aware.  Of course with that also comes more emotions and more concern over what is happening to her.  She is working really hard with PT. She is very determined and makes fierce faces as she makes the best effort she can. Her sense of humor is manifesting itself more. We still don't know when we will be out of ICU, but her blood pressure is now in the range they want it and so we are hoping it will be soon. We appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers we are receiving. We feel the power and sometimes it is the only thing that gets us through. Thank you seems insufficient.

Contributed by Amy Lilly